You ever gone through a drive-thru to order a burger?
Not a cheap value-menu burger or a kid’s burger, but a nice, big adult-sized burger. Maybe one with everything. Or one with double-meat or even triple-meat. This is America after all, and we Americans like our burgers. Especially when we’re super-hungry.
And super-hungry means that you’re starving so much that you’re not going to wait to get home or to get back to wherever you’re going. You’re going to eat that burger just as soon as possible. You’re even going to skip the fries and go right for the heavy stuff (except for the one or two fries that somehow leap from the bag right into your mouth) before you’ve barely gotten your change and receipt.
You’re pulling away from the window and pulling out that wrapped burger at almost exactly the same time. And by the way it feels in your hand, you know that it’s going to taste so good. You know it’s just the way you wanted. That it’s perfect before you even peel back the paper. You know because it’s all hot and fresh and heavy in your hand. Your fingers squish and crinkle against the wrapper that can barely contain the steaming, juicy double-handful of delicious goodness that’s hidden underneath.
Just like a loaded baby diaper that’s been left lying in the sun for a few days.
You ever picked up a dirty diaper that’s been lying in a roadside ditch after a hot week in mid-June? No? Well, have you ever pulled a fresh, hot burger out of a drive-thru bag? Yes? Then, you know what they both feel like. If you’re picking up roadside litter or if you’re pulling out a tasty burger, it’s virtually the same weight and sensation in your hand.
And if the diaper’s folded up the right way, it’s even about the same size, depending on the age and the franchise. Newborn doody diapers are about the size of Krystal or White Castle, toddlers make one that’s roughly a McDonald’s quarter-pounder or Wendy’s single (with cheese), and God help you if you come across something that looks and feels like a Whopper or a Thickburger.
God help you.
You’ll likely never pick up litter or order fast food again.
Not a cheap value-menu burger or a kid’s burger, but a nice, big adult-sized burger. Maybe one with everything. Or one with double-meat or even triple-meat. This is America after all, and we Americans like our burgers. Especially when we’re super-hungry.
And super-hungry means that you’re starving so much that you’re not going to wait to get home or to get back to wherever you’re going. You’re going to eat that burger just as soon as possible. You’re even going to skip the fries and go right for the heavy stuff (except for the one or two fries that somehow leap from the bag right into your mouth) before you’ve barely gotten your change and receipt.
You’re pulling away from the window and pulling out that wrapped burger at almost exactly the same time. And by the way it feels in your hand, you know that it’s going to taste so good. You know it’s just the way you wanted. That it’s perfect before you even peel back the paper. You know because it’s all hot and fresh and heavy in your hand. Your fingers squish and crinkle against the wrapper that can barely contain the steaming, juicy double-handful of delicious goodness that’s hidden underneath.
Just like a loaded baby diaper that’s been left lying in the sun for a few days.
You ever picked up a dirty diaper that’s been lying in a roadside ditch after a hot week in mid-June? No? Well, have you ever pulled a fresh, hot burger out of a drive-thru bag? Yes? Then, you know what they both feel like. If you’re picking up roadside litter or if you’re pulling out a tasty burger, it’s virtually the same weight and sensation in your hand.
And if the diaper’s folded up the right way, it’s even about the same size, depending on the age and the franchise. Newborn doody diapers are about the size of Krystal or White Castle, toddlers make one that’s roughly a McDonald’s quarter-pounder or Wendy’s single (with cheese), and God help you if you come across something that looks and feels like a Whopper or a Thickburger.
God help you.
You’ll likely never pick up litter or order fast food again.
